Eyeball enlargement

You too, can have larger, darker, perkier, sexier eyeballs using this revolutionary, new, blade-less, non-surgical procedure!

Call your ophthalmologist today! Most major insurance carriers accepted.

NOTICE: Results may be temporary. Do not drive or operate heavy machinery after this procedure. May cause headaches, dizziness, drowsiness, or irritability. Results are not guaranteed, and your diabetes may vary. Avoid prolonged exposure to ultraviolet light. This photo has been electronically enhanced for clarity. Do not puncture or incinerate. Tax, title, and license extra. Caution: the coffee you are about to enjoy is very hot.

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So  I had my annual ophthalmology appointment on Wednesday. The doctor saw absolutely nothing out of the ordinary in my left eye, but a couple of “tiny, tiny” (I think there were six “tiny”s) spots in my right. They’re all far from the center of my vision and shouldn’t be a concern, but she pulled up my photos from the previous year and they were the same.

She showed them to me on the computer. Naturally, I couldn’t see them.

Then she went back and forth on whether I should come back in six or twelve months, and then settled on six. I’ll see how things are going in November and decide if I want to make an appointment then. It’s getting near the holidays; maybe I’ll make it nine.

Meanwhile, we talked about diabetes and pumps, Type Ones and Twos, A1Cs and other fun stuff, and she remarked that my endo must think I’m one of his best patients. I noted that he really doesn’t compare me to others – at least not to my face – but I do my best. She remarked that she recently saw a patient who was a newly-diagnosed Type 2, and when asked to list the meds he was on, he completely forgot about his diabetes stuff.

It was a bright, bright, sunshine-y day. I walked to the office because I hate driving after getting my eyes dilated. I was given cardboard sunglasses to wear on my way home, but since they wouldn’t stay on my face with my hat and regular glasses, I ditched them shortly after stepping outside, and instead squinted the whole way home.

Just another day…