A love-hate relationship

I should be excited to get this, but surprisingly, I’m not.

It might not be fair to say I hate diabetes, but I could comfortably say that I’ve got a strong dislike for it.  Yet, for some inexplicable reason, I tend to develop a strong bond with the stuff that diabetes has brought into my life.  (Of course, I’m referring to devices, not people.  For the most part, I like the people I’ve met because of D.)

For instance.  When my doctor switched me from Humalog to Novolog (for legitimate reasons), I instinctively wanted to resist the change.  I was comfortable using Lilly insulin, and felt guilty that I was betraying the company that kept me alive for so many years.

When my first insulin pump was retired in favor of a souped-up model with continuous glucose monitoring ability (and an active warranty), there was a bit of sadness as I pulled out the battery and watched the screen go dark.

Even when my new-and-improved model had to be sent back to the manufacturer because of a crack in the case, I had a hard time taping up the box and, then handing it to the guy at the UPS Store across the counter.  The thing stayed by my side for a long time; I knew it’s peculiar quirks, and it had been with me during some pretty private moments.  Not that I expected it would become a blabbermouth once it arrived back at the factory, but there was something, something personal, about it.  (As the replacement-process became more common with subsequent M.E.’s, the process became easier).

And now, after hoping and praying for a newer, smaller, more accurate (supposedly!), and less-blood-thirsty meter for years, it finally arrived.  But I’m a bit reluctant to give up my clunker of an old meter; worn case, blünt lancet, and all.  (Even when my Revel came with a new meter, I kept on using the older — though completely identical — one).  Of course, I’ll switch… eventually.  And chances are I won’t look back.  But it’s difficult to let go.

Why is it?  Sentiment?  Loyalty? Reluctance to change?  It makes absolutely no sense.

I shouldn’t feel loyalty to anybody but myself when it comes to my health.  If a newer, better CGM, insulin, pump, or meter comes out tomorrow, I should be pushing and shoving my way to the front of the line to get one. Yet I don’t have an iBGstar, a VerioIQ, or even a FastClix. I just obediently stick with what I’ve got ’cause it works for me.

Now’s the time to switch from something that works to something that works BETTER. I’ll resist the temptation to double-test and compare results between meters, but I wonder how long it’ll be before I go “All-in” on the NextLink.

It’s not like I risk losing everything.