Monthly Archives: March 2012
I was alarmed in my sleep last night. Seven times, to be exact.
Last night, the CGM half of my pump beeped* at me seven times to tell me my blood sugar was too high. Twice, I did a BG test and gave a small correction bolus. Once, I bloused without testing. The other four times, I fumbled with the buttons to silence the alarm, then went back to sleep.
If there were five insulin pumps lined up in front of you, all same make and model, same color, same decorative touches, could you pick out the one that’s yours? I’ll bet you could. Perhas there’s a particular scratch or scuff-mark on it. Possibly, something about the beeps is particularly unique. Or maybe the melted chocolate stuck in the bezel on the back is all the evidence you need.
I just got a new pump on Tuesday. Unlike others who sometimes switch manufacturers and/or colors, New Pump is exactly like Old Pump. After developing a visible crack on Monday, I had called Medtronic and they had a replacement in my hands by Tuesday morning (Medtronic service: WIN!).
I’m generally indifferent when it comes to the terms “diabetic” versus “PWD” (Person With Diabetes), though I’m sensitive to those who feel strongly about them. However, I give credit to the makers of my favorite coffee additive — based on this new addition to their packaging (packeting?), they’re trying!
After writing this yesterday as a reply to a discussion on TuDiabetes titled “I wish I had (known) – I wish I did”, I decided that it merits a blog post here on RITD. Click the link in this paragraph to read the discussion and other responses, and if you’d like, leave your own contributions in the comments.
I wish I had known that, back in elementary and high school, kids could be cruel no matter what. That different people mature at different times, and kids with diabetes mature sooner only out of necessity.
I wish I had known that pretending to be something or someone I’m not is an enormously wasted effort. That years later, nobody will care. That those who spend their entire lives making others feel bad, inferior, or threatened never had the time to work on bettering themselves, and they’re the ones who end up with a depressing adult life.
I wish I had known that the harder you fight diabetes, the more you defy it, the harder it fights back. That it takes much less energy to take care of diabetes than it does to get angry with it.
As you’ve undoubtedly noticed, here on this blog – and everywhere in the Diabetes Online Community, I go by the moniker “Scott E.” When I first joined TuDiabetes in 2008, I was a bit tentative about putting my full identity out there, but I wasn’t quite comfortable with hiding behind a witty moniker either. It seemed a bit … disingenuous.
No, I’m not trying to imply a connection with a singer/drummer of a similar name (although I did see Sheila E deliver an unexpected performance at a Prince concert once, and I must say she magnificently outshined the headlining act). Diabetes doesn’t make for A Glamorous Life (for me, anyway), and I don’t want diabetes to define me when someone Google-searches my name.
I’m not ashamed of diabetes; not at all. Quite the contrary, I’m proud of all that I’ve learned and all that I’ve accomplished using someone else’s insulin for over 30 years. I’m also proud of the lives I’ve (hopefully) touched since becoming vocal in the DOC on TuDiabetes and elsewhere — and for the last month and a half, this blog.