I wish I had known

After writing this yesterday as a reply to a discussion on TuDiabetes titled “I wish I had (known)  – I wish I did”, I decided that it merits a blog post here on RITD.  Click the link in this paragraph to read the discussion and other responses, and if you’d like, leave your own contributions in the comments.


I wish I had known that, back in elementary and high school, kids could be cruel no matter what. That different people mature at different times, and kids with diabetes mature sooner only out of necessity.

I wish I had known that pretending to be something or someone I’m not is an enormously wasted effort. That years later, nobody will care. That those who spend their entire lives making others feel bad, inferior, or threatened never had the time to work on bettering themselves, and they’re the ones who end up with a depressing adult life.

I wish I had known that the harder you fight diabetes, the more you defy it, the harder it fights back. That it takes much less energy to take care of diabetes than it does to get angry with it.

I wish I had known better than to try to go to work the morning after a pass-out-on-the-floor, middle-of-the-night low.

I wish I had known that my doctor is not there to grade me, and that cheating by faking numbers in a logbook helps no one. That he won’t give me a gold star for a job well done, nor will he scold me if I need improvement. He’s there to help, and for him to do his job, I need to be honest.

I wish I had known that I need to be honest with who I am and the hand I’ve been dealt. Always. That, while that cheesecake looks mighty tempting, I’d pay for it it later.

I wish I had known how many carbs were in that cheesecake.

I wish I had known what a great endo is like before going through several mediocre ones.

I wish I had known that diabetes has the power to make friendships, not break friendships.

I wish I had known that, as much as I thought I knew about diabetes, that I would never know it all. It’s been over thirty years so far, and I’m still learning something new every day.

Despite all these wishes, I have no regrets.

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Posted on March 20, 2012, in Diabetes, DOC, Inspiration, Personal. Bookmark the permalink. 4 Comments.

  1. Scott, love the comment “That it takes much less energy to take care of diabetes than it does to get angry with it.”
    I couldn’t agree more, life deals everyone a different hand, its better to embrace, learn and adapt then fighting it everyday. It will not go away if your head is in the sand. Having a great support system always helps and I am glad I found your blog the other day.

    Face it head on, be true to yourself and you will be surprised at what you can handle.

    Looking forward to more of your insights.

    Like

    • Thanks, Anon! It’s amazing how frustration can grow into anger, then snowball into rage. I’ve seen it happen, and it’s not pleasant (nor are those people pleasant to be around). There’s an easier way,

      Thanks for reading!

      Like

  2. Great post, Scott! I also replied to that thread on TuDiabetes, as well as had a recent blog post about being in denial… creating a fascade for myself and others around me that I was perfectly fine/normal. :/ I have recently started to put diabetes back in the passenger seat so I can drive again. And it feels great. 🙂 My mantra lately seems to be “Better late than never!”

    Like

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