Hidden gems


“Statistically, just the rate at which diabetes is being diagnosed, you should be cautious of saying something like that [accusations of not knowing what life with diabetes is like]. Rashly assuming is a dangerous business.”

“That does not mean that it is our only defining characteristic or that we must live in a constant state of emergency. Were non-diabetics who know nothing about the disease to read some of the posted responses, they would conclude that diabetics live in a constant state of panic because the disease is unmanageable. That is not a good message for us to send to diabetics or non-diabetics.”

The first quote is from the elder Miss Manners; the second from the younger, the one with T1. (Excerpted from yesterday’s article on DiabetesMine, which had me captivated from start to finish.)

Now, you may not agree with everything Miss Manners says… heck, you may despise everything ever written in the column. But if you take some time to think about these two quotes and consider them in your own interactions with others, you just might be surprised on how well it works.

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Posted on February 27, 2014, in Diabetes. Bookmark the permalink. 6 Comments.

  1. I agreed with what she said in regards to “constant state of panic”. It isn’t healthy to be in constant panic mode or defense mode about diabetes – whether it’s yours or your kids. I used to be one of those people because it was how my mom reacted. Heck, it’s why I panic when low now and over-eat most of the time because of how my mom overreacted. It’s taken a long time to scale back the amount that I treat one with because it’s taken a lot of work and discipline to get over the “OMG I’m GONNA DIE!!!!” fear that used to come over me. It’s probably due to just lack of proper knowledge back then in my case.
    But just as we (or some of us) misinterpreted (or so she says) what she said in her post, maybe she misinterpreted us? If she had only said to the reader that testing must be done as discreetly as possible instead, I doubt she would have gotten the response she did, and responses may not have been made… Or not as fragrantly and embellished as they were. Rebuttles that we might die if we don’t check out BG right at that moment were just as ineffective as her post itself.

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  2. IMHO, if Miss Manners & company had chosen their words more wisely we wouldn’t be having this discussion because there wouldn’t have been such a blow up.
    It would have saved a lot of heartache and hurt feelings and it would have helped everyone reading their post had they shared their connection to diabetes. Even if Mr Manners didn’t want to disclose his diabetes, (and I totally get that, it’s his right and his diabetes) they (I say THEY because I’m still not entirely sure who wrote the piece) could have said something
    like: After consulting with a member of my family who lives with type 1 diabetes, I’ve come to the conclusion Gentle Reader that testing in public can make others uncomfortable, but do what you must, just consider others around you -yada, yada, yada.
    Personally, I’m very glad he tests on a plane without always running to the bathroom, but it would have been incredibly helpful, educational & honest had he actually shared that information on the post in the first place.

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    • All of this is true, Kelly. And the reason I took those two quotes out-of-context is so that we can think about those specific messages and separate it from the controversial “rest-of-the-message” and the ones who delivered it.

      I’m quite sure that I’ve made assumptions that certain people “just don’t understand”, when the odds are that at least one of them does — and, as Sarah says above, going through life in a state of panic is neither healthy for ourselves nor in the impression we put forth towards others.

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  1. Pingback: A Response from Miss Manners, and Her Son with T1 Diabetes (!) : DiabetesMine: the all things diabetes blog

  2. Pingback: Sharing the Diabetes Blogosphere Love: February 2014 : DiabetesMine: the all things diabetes blog

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