A love-hate relationship

I should be excited to get this, but surprisingly, I’m not.

It might not be fair to say I hate diabetes, but I could comfortably say that I’ve got a strong dislike for it.  Yet, for some inexplicable reason, I tend to develop a strong bond with the stuff that diabetes has brought into my life.  (Of course, I’m referring to devices, not people.  For the most part, I like the people I’ve met because of D.)

For instance.  When my doctor switched me from Humalog to Novolog (for legitimate reasons), I instinctively wanted to resist the change.  I was comfortable using Lilly insulin, and felt guilty that I was betraying the company that kept me alive for so many years.

When my first insulin pump was retired in favor of a souped-up model with continuous glucose monitoring ability (and an active warranty), there was a bit of sadness as I pulled out the battery and watched the screen go dark.

Even when my new-and-improved model had to be sent back to the manufacturer because of a crack in the case, I had a hard time taping up the box and, then handing it to the guy at the UPS Store across the counter.  The thing stayed by my side for a long time; I knew it’s peculiar quirks, and it had been with me during some pretty private moments.  Not that I expected it would become a blabbermouth once it arrived back at the factory, but there was something, something personal, about it.  (As the replacement-process became more common with subsequent M.E.’s, the process became easier).

And now, after hoping and praying for a newer, smaller, more accurate (supposedly!), and less-blood-thirsty meter for years, it finally arrived.  But I’m a bit reluctant to give up my clunker of an old meter; worn case, blünt lancet, and all.  (Even when my Revel came with a new meter, I kept on using the older — though completely identical — one).  Of course, I’ll switch… eventually.  And chances are I won’t look back.  But it’s difficult to let go.

Why is it?  Sentiment?  Loyalty? Reluctance to change?  It makes absolutely no sense.

I shouldn’t feel loyalty to anybody but myself when it comes to my health.  If a newer, better CGM, insulin, pump, or meter comes out tomorrow, I should be pushing and shoving my way to the front of the line to get one. Yet I don’t have an iBGstar, a VerioIQ, or even a FastClix. I just obediently stick with what I’ve got ’cause it works for me.

Now’s the time to switch from something that works to something that works BETTER. I’ll resist the temptation to double-test and compare results between meters, but I wonder how long it’ll be before I go “All-in” on the NextLink.

It’s not like I risk losing everything.

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Posted on October 24, 2012, in Diabetes, Personal. Bookmark the permalink. 7 Comments.

  1. You are not mad!! :D I have the same hard-time handing over old reliables and switching to newer snazzier products, it’s like you are replacing an old friend!
    It is, I guess, a relationship you feel you are breaking up after years of good service, confidence and comfort.

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  2. I really think it’s all so personal, this D thing, thatw hen someone tells us they have “something better” for us we look at it like some sort of commentary on our ability to control and dominate this disease. At least that’s how I see it. However I see it as a challenge to be proven wrong. Ahhh the joys!

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  3. I’m beginning to understand the attachment to the diabetes stuff that we use. It’s so much more of an extension of ourselves than anything else. Also (please take this the right way), having had diabetes for so long, you’ve seen the technology that you mention improve and change, there is bound to be something similar to nostalgia with it, on a much more personal level than what is conjured by things like VHS tapes.

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    • I’m not sure it’s nostalgia as much as familiarity. I can test my BG with a OneTouch Ultra in the dark, and can bolus with a MiniMed with my eyes closed (not that I recommend it!). After thousands of repetitions, I know exactly how to hold the devices, twist my wrist, and manipulate my hand to get my fingers exactly where they need to be to do what I want. With a new device, that all changes. (Unless you’re thinking nostalgia in terms of thankfulness, in which case I do feel a bit disloyal towards companies like Lilly and BD)

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  4. I am the complete opposite – I have no problem whatsoever giving up what I got for something brand spanking new ;) I like the looks and sounds of this little meter. I hope you like it. Eventually!

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    • As I was writing this, I was thinking “why can’t I be more like Stacey?”. I know you’ll quickly grab the latest model or try something different, so you never really have time to “bond” with anything, but you always know what works best for you because you’ve had the opportunity to compare.

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  5. I’m in the same boat as you Scott.
    I couldn’t care less for the spanky new stuff. You won’t see me standing in line for the newest technology.
    A new meter? I put it through the ringer before I decide which one to use as my sole meter and even then the same one has always come out on top for the past 5 years or so.

    I don’t like new stuff.
    I like other people to be guinea pigs first.

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